After a horrible experience at my previous hospital, the moment I arrived at Chester ward, in my pajamas covered in blood, wet hair and no shoes, I was greeted in such a friendly and genuine manner by the staff on shift.
3 months later and after a lot of up and downs (mainly downs), numerous restraints, IMS, and medication, with staffs never-ending support, I’ve managed to have 4 days incident free. 4 full days without hurting myself. I know it won’t always be the case as everyone has blips and down days, which I am still having but, I’ve got to remember that it’s normal to have the odd bad day.
Staff have been absolutely amazing with me especially the last few days, they’ve helped fight and get through any urges I’m having. I’ve broke down numerous time’s because it is so hard and I get mad at myself when i’m struggling because I hate disappointing people. I know i shouldn’t feel like that and as the staff say, I should give myself more credit as i’ve gone from having 13 incidents a day to just 1 or 2. But, I don’t because I put too much pressure on myself most of the time.
I have just got to find a way of dealing with the strong thoughts and urges when they arise.
I am trying…