I’m sorry for putting you all through everything I’ve been going through. I’m also sorry for pushing you all away when I probably need you the most. I just feel like I’ve got to deal with everything on my own. I love you all dearly and I appreciate your constant support. However, I think because it’s been so long when you do come to visit I feel so detached from you all and like nothings the same anymore.
I am struggling massively and in all honesty, I don’t know how much I can take. I just feel stuck and like I’m getting worse and worse as the days go on. I promise I don’t mean to be so cold-hearted. I didn’t want you to get used to seeing me all the time when anything could happen. Especially with how I’m feeling on a day to day basis. The only reason I continue to struggle is because of you 3. I know you’re fighting to get me the help I need and I know you will do all it takes to help me get better.
In my head, I just always think that constantly hurting myself in various ways is better for you all because at least I’m still alive (unfortunately).
All my love,